It gets worse before it gets better?

It's been nearly 2 weeks since my last post. It's been great socially, I've been out with several groups of friends, drinking and partying lots. It's just, this thing inside my head keeps on growing and growing and things are getting so much worse. I know that if it gets much worse I'll stop going out with my friends - I already think about cancelling every time I have to figure out what to wear on my discusting self. I keep trying to restrict but always fail. I've just eaten 4 cookies and some chips and feel sick... I repulse myself. It's now getting to the stage where all I wear is baggy clothing to cover up my fat and even if I'm on my own I find it hard to wear just a t-shirt and not have huge jumpers covering me because I hate my body so much.
I just wish I could be like I was the last 2 years, maintaining a weight of around 105lbs and feeling happy with the way I looked most of the time, eating a sensible amount without thinking about/craving food too much. I still don't have a goal weight, all I know is that I want to lose weight and lose weight and lose weight until this intense pressure in my head lets up and allows me to just live my life. Please?